The Onion Now Owns Alex Jones' Infowars

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Post on Nov 15, 2024

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The Onion Just Bought Infowars. Seriously.

Hold onto your tinfoil hats, folks. The Onion, known for its satirical news stories, just pulled off the most hilarious (and maybe a little bit scary) acquisition of all time: Infowars, the conspiracy theory hub run by the infamous Alex Jones.

How Did This Happen?

Honestly, it's a story as wild as anything Jones ever concocted. Apparently, Infowars had been struggling for years, thanks to a combination of lawsuits, declining viewership, and a general loss of credibility. Enter The Onion, with its genius for comedic timing and knack for exposing the absurdities of our world.

The Onion's Plans?

Now, here's the real kicker: The Onion isn't shutting down Infowars. Nope, they're actually planning to keep it running, but with a twist. They're going to use Infowars as a platform for satirical, satirical, satirical commentary. Imagine the possibilities!

Think "chemtrails" being blamed on pigeons, "deep state lizard people" being exposed as just really good at cosplay, and a "QAnon" campaign focused on getting people to vote for the best brand of pizza. It's going to be pure comedic gold, folks!

Wait, Is This Really Happening?

Hold up a second, you say? This sounds too good to be true. And you're right, it is. This is all a big joke, a hilarious prank by the Onion. But hey, maybe they should consider it for real? It'd be the biggest, most ironic takeover in history, and it'd probably generate enough buzz to resurrect Infowars… for the wrong reasons, of course.

What's Next?

We can't wait to see what the Onion does with Infowars. Will they turn it into a platform for serious journalism (we're kidding, of course)? Will they use it to expose the hypocrisy of the right-wing media? Or will they just keep making us laugh until we cry? Only time will tell.

One thing's for sure: the world just got a little bit weirder.